I've had a hard time smiling today
I've had a hard time smiling today, so I decided to go through my Flickr photostream to find old family photos. It worked. I smiled:
My mom had this photo taken sometime in the early 60's for my dad who was stationed somewhere in the Pacific. She wrote a note on the back and mentioned how much she was enjoying the car and that she liked this picture of herself and their two daughters. My little sister and I came along a few years after this photo was taken. It would have been interesting to be part of this family in the photo -- having a younger, somewhat happier and less-stressed mom and getting to enjoy more time in southern California. I think it's probably the one place that BOTH my parents enjoyed.
What the photo triggered is something I needed to see and to know -- I'm giving myself some grace and relieving myself of some of my own absurd expectations. I'm acknowledging that change doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes it doesn't happen at all. I remember when I figured this out years ago, in a different context, and it was such an epiphany -- to be OKAY with things the way they are and to find ways to thrive and be happy -- that is, just make the assumption that while the situation won't change, my attitude about it can.
Crocheting has given me much JOY in the past few weeks. I'm 29 stripes into the 60 it will take for me to consider the blanket finished:
It's so much easier to find joy when you're actively seeking it.
Comments
I am loving that blanket!!
Posted by: Lisa | April 13, 2009 10:44 PM
Can you send me the pattern? with the color selections?
My son leaves for Afganastian in 6 weeks - this would be a great gift to send to him while he is there (later in the year when it gets cold!)
Wendy
Posted by: Wendy | April 13, 2009 11:09 PM
I'm sorry you are finding it hard to smile right now - you are right, a conscious choice to try and be happy sure does help - as does this great photo of your family and the car!! I knew the car must have been important as soon as I saw the photo.
Posted by: Rose Red | April 13, 2009 11:54 PM
ohmygosh.......are we sisters or what, I was having the same kind of day as you! Instead of finding something to smile about,(like you did) I went into my "stay out of my hula hoop!" Didn't want anyone in my space today! I will talk to you soon!!
Posted by: Jayne | April 14, 2009 12:11 AM
i hope your day and smile starts looking up soon :)
*amazing* colors in that blanket, just beautiful!
Posted by: aija | April 14, 2009 02:33 AM
Janet that blanket is impeccable! Such a precious photo...
Posted by: Heather | April 14, 2009 06:27 AM
((hugs)) Sometimes smiles are sparse. That is something I am working on. Keeping God's joy and peace alive even when the circumstances are bearing down. And the blanket is delicious!
Posted by: stacey | April 14, 2009 08:18 AM
I love the matching dresses! That was my mom's trick.
She had four daughters of various ages and would sew up four copies of the same dress - just in different colors and sizes. So, if we complained that we were all wearing the same dress - she would say "but honey, YOUR dress is blue while your sister's dress is yellow." Grrr. It was like we were part of some sort of cult. :)
Posted by: Margaret | April 14, 2009 09:09 AM
Amen to finding happiness by seeking.
Posted by: Christie | April 14, 2009 11:25 AM
I am sorry to hear that you are having some struggles and I hope they ease for you soon. You have certainly chosen an excellent tonic, those beautiful ripples are the very colour of happy.
Posted by: Rebecca | April 14, 2009 01:46 PM
Beautiful words and thoughts. The Serenity Prayer gets me through many days...acceptance, courage and wisdom.
Posted by: Emily | April 14, 2009 06:44 PM
Ah sometimes it is so hard to accept what is going on when you want or feel something else should be happening. Good luck my friend.
Thought of you and your mom today. Was working with a new patient and he was talking about how much he loved Japan when stationed there that when he left the military he decided to move permanently back to Japan. A few months later he met the woman that would become his wife of 50+ years.
Posted by: Debbie | April 14, 2009 07:16 PM
Sometimes, we have to look within and around ourselselves to find the things that make us happy and to choose to embrace them. Otherwise, life would be all gloomy. I have adopted a somewhat similar attitude towards happiness but it's a working progress.
I love how you blanket is taking shape, stripe after stripe!
Posted by: LUCY | April 15, 2009 07:02 AM
I hop eyou are OK now. Its hard working on our attitudes to things but it certainly works when you've mastered it! x
Posted by: Lin | April 16, 2009 06:39 AM
The photo made me smile too. The blanket made me smile more.
Posted by: Susie | April 16, 2009 08:10 AM
Yes! Very true
Posted by: Soknitpicky | April 16, 2009 09:35 AM
That is a wonderful photo!
I really like your color placement on the ripple afghan. I think I need to build up my handknit sweater, accessory and sock wardrobe, and then I can find time to learn to crochet.
Posted by: Brenda | April 16, 2009 07:26 PM
wonderful colours - should keep you happy and lovely and warm!
Posted by: Shirley I. | April 20, 2009 04:28 AM
Good for you for going and finding things to help you smile. I decided a few weeks ago that when I wasn't feeling like smiling I would do it anyway - fake it - and just see what happened. I'm loving what happens - people smile back at me and my faked smile eventually becomes a real one.
Oh, and I love the blanket!
Posted by: Anna | April 22, 2009 03:46 AM
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Posted by: Aura Tahu | February 5, 2010 07:23 PM